A Gentleman’s Prerogative

What's the Book About? Introduction Snippets from the Book Table of Contents About the Author Acknowledgements Final Advice

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Publication Date: 12 October 2009
Also available in all good RSA book stores.
Size: 210 mm x 210 mm
Pages: 280
Price: R100

ISBN: 978-0-620-43113-2

Produced, published and distributed by:
Congruence Publishing
19 Murray Avenue
Morningside Manor
2057 Sandton
South Africa
director@congruence.co.za
+27 11 804 3520

Cover design and illustrations by Nigel Babb
Layout and typeset by cLayTon BoTHa
Printed and bound by Replika Press, India
Website design by Gary van der Merwe

� Paul Anthony du Toit

Disclaimer: The material contained in this book is entirely the author's own interpretation. No liability can be accepted for loss or expense incurred as a result of relying on particular statements, advice or recommendations made in this book.

The First Word	17
Domestic Harmonics	19
When disagreeing	21
Make sure she catches you working	22
Standing your ground	23
When being instructed to pull your weight	24
The Kitchen	25
The dishcloth	27
Washing up	28
The dishwasher	29
Knives	30
When instructed to fetch an item from the kitchen	31
Empty (used) jars in the refrigerator	32
Using the last	33
Liberties	35
When she leaves her clothes at your place	37
Being taken for granted	38
Taking her for granted	39
When she wants to replace your hunting trophies with Nouveau Art	40
When she wants to know what you’re thinking	41
Sleeping arrangements	42
When she takes over the entire house	43
Repetitive Behavior	45
When she nags	47
When the nagging persists	48
When it won’t stop	49
Jockeying	51
When she attempts to draw you into an argument	53
When she requires something	54
Whining, bleating, moaning and complaining	55
When she’s being difficult, unreasonable and / or downright impossible	56
Desperation	57
Door slamming	59
Implements of destruction	60
Smashing of glassware and crockery	61
Retaliation	62
Life insurance	63
When she packs her bags	64
Persuasiveness	65
The cute voice	67
When she bursts into tears	68
Bribes	69
Threats	70
Blackmail	71
Pleasantries at Dawn	73
The morning beverage	75
The morning mood	76
The toothpaste tube	77
Items of clothing and wet towels discarded on the floor	78
Losing a contact lens	79
Pleasantries at Dusk	81
The ring around the bath	83
The overflowing bath	84
Droplets on the loo seat	85
The face	86
When she asks, “How do I look?”	87
Behind Closed Doors	89
The throne	91
The back massage	92
Other massages	93
Spanking	94
Bondage	95
Fashion	97
When you have purchased yourself a new suit	99
Aerobics	100
Overflowing wardrobes and nothing to wear	101
When she enquires, “What shall I wear?”	102
When she bulges out of a recently bought dress	103
When she buys you a garment, which you dislike	104
Her new hairdo	105
Tattoos	106
Expensive hobbies	107
Passions	109
The stars	111
The moon	112
Superstitions	113
Jealousy	115
When you are accused of harbouring intentions of being unfaithful	117
Former lovers	118
When she catches you ogling another woman	119
When a former girlfriend phones	120
Trickery	123
Unsigned Valentine’s Day cards	125
Love letters to your mistress	126
Flowers	127
Forgetting	129
Her birthday	131
Your birthday	132
Her mother’s birthday	133
Your anniversary	134
April Fools Day	135
When it’s that time of the month	136
The tickets	137
To say “I love you”	138
In-Laws	139
The mother-in-law	141
When your mother-in-law smokes	142
When your mother-in-law chain-smokes	143
When she sits on the phone to her mother or chum	144
Preferences	145
When her musical taste differs from yours	147
Her musical talents	148
Her soapie	149
When she chats through TV news	150
Habits	151
Holding her liquor	153
When she gets blind drunk	154
Untidiness	155
When you smoke (and she doesn’t)	156
When she smokes (and you don’t)	157
Pets	159
Visiting the S.P.C.A.	161
When the kitty or doggy has fouled the carpet	162
Feeding the pets	163
On selecting a kitten	164
When she wants a doggy	165
On selecting a dog	166
Upon discovering that your dog is “in the family way”	167
Health	169
The diet	171
The health food fad	172
She announces that she’s just lost two kilos	173
Facts of Life	175
Smelly armpits	177
When she has wind	178
When you have wind	179
The rumbling tummy	180
Cravings	181
Aches and Pains	183
The bedtime headache	185
When you’re hung over	186
Love	187
When she’s ready for action	189
When you’re ready for action	190
Tiredness	191
When you’re too tired	193
When you’re not permitted to be tired	194
When she’s tired	195
The Outdoors	197
Gardening – her labours, your obligation	198
When producing a creepy creature from the garden	199
The locust	200
Lateness	201
When you’re late	203
When you’re very late	204
When she’s late	205
Arriving late to dinner with friends	206
Eating Out	207
En route to a dinner party, you’ve been fighting & now you’re not talking	209
Dining out at restaurants	210
Hijacking	211
When she commandeers the best bottle from your cellar for a hens’ party	213
The gentle milking of your assets	214
The commissioning of your clothing	215
The Culinary Arts	217
Backseat cooking	219
When she burns the lemon meringue tart	220
Washing of hands prior to eating	221
Motoring	223
Her driving	225
When she drives straight over a pothole in the road	226
Her backseat driving (usually carried out from the front passenger seat)	227
When she prangs your car	228
Vehicle maintenance	229
Absent - Mindedness	231
When she loses her keys	233
When she locks herself out of the house	234
Shopping	235
For groceries	237
For clothing	238
Courtesies	239
Wiping of feet prior to entering the house	241
Opening the door for her	242
Standing aside to allow her to enter the house first	243
Waiting for her to commence eating	244
Helping her remove her jacket	245
Casting one’s jacket in a puddle of mud for a lady to tread on	246
Travel	247
The suitcase	249
Arriving at the airport	250
Accounting	251
Bills	253
Credit cards	254
Finances	255
Money	256
Gambling	257
Gadgets	259
The TV remote	261
Cell-phones	262
Voicemail	263
Short message service (SMS)	264
Old text messages	265
The Office	267
Time	269
When you’ve been passed over for promotion	270
When you’ve been promoted	271
The Last Word	273
About The Author	279